Storm Trooper training sucks.  The boots weigh a ton and I can never get them to fit right.  Everyone else gets shoe laces and velcro.  Not us.  No, we’re all “we need something pneumatic” and the air pump and automatic sealing mechanism are never and I MEAN NEVER in sync.  Not to mention all the times you keep kicking stuff on the floor because … those boots are UBER-HUGE!  Seriously, I mean I wear a size 8 and it’s like all of the sudden I’m Vader-foot.  Dude, talk about feet.

And what is his deal?  Does he ever lighten up?  Do NOT offer to buy him a drink.  If he is at the canteen, just let him pass.  If he wants a soda pop, he will BUY IT HIMSELF.  Neighborly is just not in his vocab.

Back to training.  No, back to these boots.  Try sitting under a table.  Now tables with four legs are fine, but those pedastal tables?  You better not accidentally put your chair where one of them sticks out because then you have to try to maneuver around it.  Just let me eat at my desk.

I wouldn’t even be in this stupid mess if the Empire wasn’t having an economic slump.  And another thing.  Whose paying for Death Star anyway?  You think the Emperor has invested one dime, even to pay for one of his lousy holograms.  And in case he is reading my thoughts, those holograms are very flattering in my humble opinion.

The best thing I have to say about the Rebels is their clothes are comfortable and still very fashion forward.  Sure, you say, but do they offer protection?  And I say to you, have you seen this protective encasement we are sporting stop even one laser shot or phaser set to kill.  (You should see how many ST trainees don’t even remember phasers.  Man, if you want to feel old … )

I honestly thought about reposting my resume to Monster, but then the lights dimmed and you know how nice these guys are when there is a shift in the Force.  So, hopefully I’m only here until I can get college tuition to my PELL grant will get me back into DeVry.  Until then …